"How are YOU?", they would say. "It's so good to see YOU.", they would say. "It's been so long since I've seen YOU!", they would say.
What they would NOT say: "How are you, Janet?" "So good to see you, Janet." "It's been so long since I've seen you, Janet."
Wanna know why? I'm a twin. Identical. The "gosh, you-two-look-a-lot-alike" kind. Yup..... We knew we looked a lot alike, we definitely didn't need it pointed out and we didn't much enjoy it either. In fact, for most of our younger years we hated it. Hated it!
The biggest issue with being a twin is you have no singular identity. You are part of a "matched set" as our mother loved to say. Biggest pet peeve? No first name! No one called us by our first name, well, except for each other. Even our parents would struggle.... "J! J-J-J! Ja! Ju! "whoever you are, come here!" Our mother says she never stuttered until she named all her girls "J's".
Our classmates devised their own system for telling us apart. They decided that my sis was "the mean one" and I was "the nice one". Hell yeah! I milked that for all it was worth! Teachers simply called us by our last name, even teachers who were less formal with other students still insisted on calling us Ms. Jorgensen. In high school we switched seats as a prank but the teacher didn't even notice! Other adults in our lives simply chose not to address us by name at all.
"Oh, you are one of the twins".
(Sigh.....) Yes. I am one of the twins.
I imagine it was done out of fear of being wrong. Not wanting to be embarrassed when we corrected someone for the 10th time or the 100th time or the billionth time. Geesh! Can't you tell us apart?!?! We look nothing alike, her eyes are slightly wider set and my mole is on the opposite side! ARG! Okay, maybe we weren't the most patient about it either.... But Anyhoo!
My sister and I, who are polar opposites in temperament and personality, put great effort into NOT looking so much alike but we were routinely thwarted by my mom who loved to dress us in matching outfits... in every family photo, same outfit, same hair style, down to matching hand-crotchet hair bows. We matched in every way. Ugh. In our earliest efforts to differentiate ourselves, we insisted on wearing different colors, my color was usually blue and my twin sis was usually in red. To add a layer of confusion and frustration, we wore uniforms to school. Guess what happens when you dress 200 kids in the same plaid? THEY ALL look alike. At this point, my sis and I had to really step up our game. We began actively plotting to look different, if she wore plaid pants, I wore plaid skirts and if, God forbid, we accidentally brought the same t-shirt for gym class (mom bought everything in pairs), one of us had to wear our uniform dress shirt instead. We never, ever, allowed our mom to buy us the same shoes. Ever.
As we got older, my sister took the radical route and chopped off all of her hair. We stopped hanging out together so much, she played different sports than I, we explored different art and music interests, we found different social circles and then we went to college. The funniest thing happened when we went to college.
I GOT A FIRST NAME!!!! For the first time in my life people actually called me by my first name. At first, it sounded strange.... In all honesty, I sometimes felt like I was in trouble. Like when your mother uses your entire name and stresses each SYL-LA-BLE. But slowly, over time, bit by bit, I got used to it. Janet, Janet, Janet. Now, I kinda love it.
My twin sis and I still hang out a lot, but the twin thing is more of a novelty now. My peers are shocked (if not alarmed) when they meet my twin. She will sometimes run into one of my clients which can cause some confusion, brief embarrassment and then laughter. She works as a Sergeant in law enforcement so I'd really rather not run into her customers, if you know what I mean... Did I mention we are complete opposites? We still NEVER dress alike, but we have come to embrace the twin thing as adults. Being an identical twin IS different! We are unique because of our SAMEness. Besides, you never break up a matched set.
Whether you are an identical twin, a marketing consultant, a business owner or selling a specific product, you must differentiate yourself in this chaotic market of sameness and copycatting. If you would like help in making a name for yourself. Contact me here.
"Hey! Are you the one that is the COP?!"
No, I'm the other one.... Ugh, here we go again!